39 Heart Puns and Jokes to Circulate Among Your Pals

Heart puns and jokes that don’t miss a beat.

Heart puns and jokes you can hardly wait for.

The heart wants what the heart wants. And the heart wants heart puns. So here’s a hearty collection of cardiology cracks. Quite frankly, we’re pretty pumped to share them with you. That’s because they’re perfect for most any occasion, from wooing heartthrobs on Valentine’s Day to having a little fun in anatomy class. And we’re all about using puns in the name of medical research.

If you have a change of heart, we have plenty more to snicker at. Have a laugh with some cute candy puns or needle your friends with a little nurse humor. They’ll have a heart time not cracking up.

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Cute Heart Puns

Short puns from the heart.

I can heartly wait.
Don’t be so vein.
Cardi-actually.
Why aorta…
This is the heartest part.
She’s playing heart to get.
Between a rock and a heart place.
It’s heart to believe.
You’re so heartcore.

Pump it up.
Party hearty.
Hearty Har Har.
I’ve got heart rhythm.
Cardio B.
Vein Halen.
Vein-a White.
Murmur-phy Brown.

Heart Puns and One-Liners

These funny heart one-liners and sayings are in the same vein.

Aorta tell more funny heart jokes.
Let’s bypass the small talk.
These heart puns don’t skip a beat.
Cardiology is heart work.
Cardiologists are always organ-ized.
I worked for a stent as a heart surgeon.

My grandfather had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Take another little pizza my heart now, baby.
Did you know that you can actually hear the blood in your veins? You just need to listen varicose-ly.
Don’t break anybody’s heart – they only have 1. Break their bones – they have 206.
Like a one-armed jugular in a windstorm.

Funny Heart Jokes

It’s time to have a heart to heart about dad jokes.

What happened to the bear with heart problems? Kodiak arrest.
How do cardiologists like their eggs? Heart-boiled.
Who’s the heart doctor’s favorite painter? Vein Gogh.
Why can’t you lie to cardiologists? They can always spot afib.
What do you call a heart doctor that plays piano? A chord-iologist.
What the most romantic kind of architecture? Heart deco.

Where do hospitals get supplies for bypass surgery? At the heart-ware store.
Why was Heart magazine so successful? It had good circulation.
What’s a heart’s favorite musical instrument? The organ.
What city in Ohio has the most heart attacks? Cardi-Akron.
Why did Casanova get arrested? For stealing hearts.