73 Rain Jokes and Puns for 100% Chance of Laughs

A downpour of funny rain jokes and puns.

Are you only happy when it rains? Or do rainy days and Mondays always get you down? Either way, you’ve come to the right place. We’re flooding the zone with the wettiest jokes and puns of the season. And because the forecast calls for a 100% chance of laughs, we have no drought you’ll be cracking up in a flash. Not only that, we think your friends and family will love them too. Just sprinkle a few in your conversations, and everyone will think you’re slicker than ever. Time to hit the showers!

If these jokes are too wet for you, open up some umbrella puns to keep your giggles dry.

Rain Jokes

People either love our jokes or they storm out. It’s okay when they do – we don’t let it rain on our parade.

• When did the two raindrops get married? On their wetting day.
• What do you call a weatherman who’s a carnivore? A meat-eater-ologist.
• What animals get the wettest? Rain-deer.
• What Middle Eastern country gets the most precipitation? Bahrain.
• What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

• Why is Britain the wettest country? Because monarchy has reigned there for centuries.
• What does the rain do before getting married? It precipi-dates.
• Why do you have to act quickly during a flood? Because it’s an emergent sea.
• If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The pilgrims.
• What do you call a pile of coins out in the rain? Climate change.

Funny Rain Jokes

If the rain won’t go away and come again another day, then at least you some have funny dad humor to get you through it.

• What kind of apples don’t get wet when it rains? Mackintosh.
• What do meteorologists put on before putting on their pants? Thunder wear.
• What’s the weatherman’s favorite hockey team? The New York Rain-gers.
• How much chocolate sauce did the meteorologist want on her ice cream sundae? Just a drizzle.
• When does it rain money? When there’s a change in the weather.

• Why was the inside of the weatherman’s house wet? It was under rain-ovation.
• When’s it going to start raining in Jamaica? Mon, soon.
• Can bees fly when it’s raining? Not without their little yellow jackets.
• Why can Santa deliver gifts in stormy weather? His sleigh is flown by rain-deer.
• What did the doctor say to his patient before walking out into the rain? Better get your hydrocodone.

Short Rain Jokes

You don’t have to save these cute puns for a rainy spring day.

• What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
• What do you get for studying meteorology? A precipitation trophy.
• What’s the best weather for a revolution? Reign-fall.
• Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
• Why did the weatherman blush? He saw climate change.

• What did the rain say to the ground? I’m falling for you.
• What’s is called when it rains monkeys? Ape-ril showers.
• What do clouds do when they go to the strip club? They make it rain.
• What’s the king’s favorite weather? Reign.
• What’s the rainiest city in Southern California? Wettier.

More Cute Rain Jokes

Even more funny punch lines that will have you right as rain.

• What do you call it when it’s raining chickens and ducks? Fowl weather.
• What’s Santa’s favorite weather? Rain, dear.
• Could this be rain, Brutus? Hail, Caesar.
• What do you call a baby owl in the rain? A moist owlet.
• When do you think it’ll start raining? Mon-soon.

• What happens if you don’t set fire to the rain? You get Adele-uge.
• What happens right before it starts raining candy? It sprinkles.
• Why did the orchestra sound better in the thunderstorm? They had a good conductor.
• What kind of nuts do weathermen eat? Squallmonds.

Rain Puns and One-Liners

Hilarious one-liners that reign the joke world. Go ahead and drizzle a few into your next conversation.

• It’s raining cats and dogs today. Hope I don’t step in a poodle.
• I don’t know whether I got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
• I once entered a weather-pun competition. I beat the raining champion.
• If all this rain makes you want to build an ark, I Noah guy.
• I hope it doesn’t rain on Halloween. That would dampen some spirits.
• I’ve seen an April shower, but I’ve never seen an April take a bath.
• The rain clouds got mad and stormed out.

• The weatherman says it’s going to rain, but I drought it.
• I ran out of rain jokes, but I’ll make dew.
• If the freezing rain doesn’t stop, I’m going to sleet my wrists.
• I was going to tell a joke about the smell of rain, but it’s petri-corny.
• I was eating soup outside on a restaurant patio when it started raining. It took me hours to finish my meal.
• Can’t anyone rein in these puns?

Funny Rain Puns

If you don’t get any giggles out of these cute puns, you may be as cold as ice jokes.

• Wetter you up to?
• That rain joke mist.
• Two’s company, three’s a cloud.
• No rain, no gain.
• I’m a rain-aissance man.

• Don’t let the rain cloud your judgement.
• That was a pour decision.
• A rain of terror.
• Our raincoat jokes are slicker than theirs.
• He’s the head poncho.

Short Rain Puns

Raindrops keep falling on my head. They’re also falling on the ground. Guess that’s why the grass puns keep growing.

• Rain-drop the mic.
• These are the wettiest puns ever.
• It was a mist opportunity.
• You’re such a rain-egade.
• Water you talking about?
• It’s a mist-ery.

• It’ll rain monsoon-er or later.
• Fog-get about it.
• Excuse me, mist-er.
• The storm brought a dill-uge of pickles.
• I’m squall in.

You Ask, We Answer

Let your questions rain down. We’ll do our best to shower you with wetty answers.