85 Sleep Jokes and Puns You Can Use Yawn-Demand

The funny sleep jokes and puns of your dreams.

I’ll tell you one thing: you won’t want to snooze on these high-quality sleep puns and jokes. Especially if you are a snooze or know someone who is. Use the following funnies and you’ll instantly start getting king-size laughs. You’ll no longer be a snooze but a bedder person. And let’s be honest – that’s the only sheet that matters.

If laughing at all these funny sleep sayings is making it hard to catch any zzzz’s, try counting sheep puns. It probably won’t help, but it’s already pasture your bedtime anyway.

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Hilarious Sleep One-Liners

Can’t sleep? Might as well laugh at some funny jokes about sleeping.

Taller people sleep longer in bed.
I listen to hymns all night and don’t get any sleep. I have in-psalm-nia.
If I don’t get some sleep, there will be REM-ifications.
Just bought a sleeping bag for $30. I have no idea how to wake it up though.
I wish I could sleep yawn-demand.

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep. It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed. Joke’s on him; I sleep in a real car.
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in last night. My dreams have never been clearer.
There was a kidnapping at school today. It’s okay though; he woke up.
I went to a show last night and the band’s guitarist passed out on stage. He must have rocked himself to sleep.

Funny Sleep Joke One-Liners

If they’re sleep jokes, does that mean you talk in your sleep when you tell them?

I would love to be paid to sleep. It would be my dream job.
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.
I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night. And then it dawned on me.
Studies show that a nap-ple a day can help you fall asleep faster.
My foot fell asleep. Now, it’s coma-toes.

Someone stole hundreds of cans of energy drinks from our local store. I don’t know how they can sleep at night.
I know someone who was habitually late until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden. It sounds odd, but now he wakes up on thyme.
My boss calls me “the computer,” not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
If I’m having trouble falling asleep, I just listen to some Yawn-ni.

Sleep Dad Jokes

These clever dad jokes will keep you up all night.

Where do books sleep? Under their covers.
What animals sleep the best? Zzzzebras.
What do you get when you eat cookies in bed? Crumby sleep.
Where do burgers sleep? On a bed of lettuce.
Why is it so hard to get specific information out of a bedding salesperson? Because they’re always making blanket statements.

If mattresses come in king and queen, where does the prince sleep? On the heir mattress.
What’s it called when fish can’t sleep? Fin-somnia.
How do you get a job at a mattress store? Fill out a nap-plication.
How many sheep do you count before falling asleep? About a doze-n.
Why do keyboards never sleep? Because they have two shifts.

What’s it called when someone’s legs twitch in their sleep? Rapid thigh movement.
What do chickens have when they can’t sleep? Hen-somnia.
Why do dragons often sleep during the day? So they can fight knights.
Where does sleepy wine come from? Nap-a.
What do butterflies sleep on in the cocoon? Caterpillows.

Funny sleep puns and jokes you can use yawn-demand.

Funny Sleep Jokes

Enter Sandman…to tell some funny jokes about sleep.

What should you do if your iPhone gets tired? Download a nap.
What do gingerbread men sleep on? Cookie sheets.
Why did the little girl take her bike to bed? Because she didn’t want to walk in her sleep.
What do you call a sleeping woodcutter? A slumberjack.
What do you call a T. rex with sleep apnea? A dino-snore.

What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
Where do fish sleep? On the river bed.
What’s it called when kids refuse to go to bed? Resisting a rest.
Why did the little boy put a little sugar under his pillow at night? So he would have sweet dreams.
What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep.

Why are mountains always so sleepy? Because they don’t Everest.
Which member of The Beatles was always tired? Yawn Lennon.
What should you do if you’re too tired to keep driving? Pillow-ver.
Is this the best place to nap in Spain? Si-esta es.
What do you call people who are indifferent to sleeping during the day? Nap-athetic.

More Funny Sleep Jokes

How will you ever go to sleep if you keep reading these hysterical sleep jokes?

What do you call a boring music festival? Lollapa-snooze-a.
How do you get an alien baby to sleep? You rocket.
What do you call a big ox that can’t sleep? Insomni-yak.
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillowcases? They’re making a lot of headlines.
Why did the man like to sleep with the lamp on? He was a light sleeper.
How do you write a story about your bed? You make it yourself.

What Canadian province has the sleepiest people? Yawn-tario.
What kind of wood is used to build bedrooms? Slumber.
Where can you get the best sleep in Utah? O-REM.
Why did the sleeping ballerina dance in her dreams? She had good circadian rhythm.
Whose financial advice makes you want to fall asleep? Snooze-e Orman.