81 Zombie Jokes and Puns for Hordes of Laughs
81 Zombie jokes and puns flesh out of the oven.
We’ve got zombie wordplay on the brain. Some real Walking Dad humor. You know, the type of punch lines that can infect any situation. And of corpse we’re going to share them with you. After all, we want you to be armed with the best gut-busters around. So get out there and fire one off next time you’re going for the zombie kill of the week.
Seems like zombies and Frankenstein’s monster have a few things in common. That’s why you not only need some good Frankenstein jokes to electrify your friends with. But you also need a solid selection of cemetery puns for whatever punny Halloween mischief you have planned.
Zombie Jokes
Undead jokes straight from the pun cemetery.
- What did the zombies eat at the picnic? Barbara Q.
- What do Zombies brew coffee with? Burial grounds.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie? He only eats Brians.
- Where do zombies get their vegetables? The hospital.
- What kind of cheese do the undead eat? Zombrie.
- How do you know if a zombie likes you? He comes back for seconds.
- When do zombies eat breakfast? Once they catch you.
- Why did the zombies move to a new city? Because they wanted a flesh start.
- What do you call an undead cow? Zom-beef.
- What gym exercise do zombies do? Dead lifts.
- Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.
- What food-delivery service do zombies use? Hello Flesh.
Zombie Dad Jokes
What’s in your head? In your head?
- What do Middle Eastern zombies eat? Bahrains.
- What room in the house don’t zombies use? The living room.
- Why don’t the undead sleep? They’re in-zombie-acs.
- Why do zombies speak Latin? Because it’s a dead language.
- What is a zombie’s favorite type of dessert? Eyes cream.
- What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead? A zom-beagle.
- What do zombie zebras eat? Ze brains.
- What should you never give a zombie? A piece of your mind.
- How do zombies make babies? They have inter-corpse.
- Where do zombies go swimming? In the Dead Sea.
- What do zombies eat when they need fiber? Brans.
- Where do Australian zombies come from? Down Under.
Funny Zombie Jokes
Zingers that rise to the occasion. Just like these vicious vampire puns do.
- What kind of sauce do zombies put on brains? Grave-y.
- What do you make undead chili with? Zom-beans.
- What do you call a zombie making stir-fry? Dead man wok-ing.
- What kind of stuffed animals do zombie kids like? Deady bears.
- What should you do if a zombie rolls his eyes at you? Roll them back.
- Who’s the undead’s favorite Golden Girl? Zom-Bea Arthur.
- Where do zombies buy houses? On dead-end streets.
- Where do zombie monkeys live? In the brain forest.
- Did you hear about the outbreak of undead people in Greece? It’s the zombie Acropolis.
- What do they call the undead in Mexico? Zombres.
- Where do zombies buy wedding rings? De-Kay Jewelers.
- What board game do zombies play? Cranium.
More Zombie Jokes
Give the living dead something to laugh about with another wave of punch lines.
- What do vegetarian zombies eat? GRAAIINNNNSSS!!
- What do zombie husbands get when they’re late for dinner? The cold shoulder.
- Who won the zombie race? Nobody – it was a dead heat.
- What kind of candy won’t zombies eat? Life Savers.
- How do zombies decorate Easter eggs? They undye them.
- What do you call an undead wasp? A zom-bee.
- What kind of shows do zombie kids watch? Re-animation.
- What shift do zombies work? Graveyard.
- What time do zombies wake up in the morning? Ate o’clock.
- How do the undead go to the bathroom? They zom-pee.
- How do the undead clean their clothes? With zom-bleach.
Zombie One-Liners
We dug up the perfect zombie one-liners for the train ride to Busan.
- A single zombie is scary, but a row of zombies forms something even scarier: a deadline.
- I just saw two zombies on a date. I guess romance is officially undead.
- Watch out for Tesla owners during the zombie apocalypse. They’ll never tell you when they’re turning.
- If Will Smith turned into a zombie, he’d be the Flesh Prince of Bel-Air.
- I went to see a zombie Brit-pop cover band last night, but they just played Died-o the whole time.
- Zombie pirates don’t eat brains; they eat arrrrms.
- Mozart was the zombie’s favorite decomposer.
- I dated a zombie once. When we broke up, she fell apart.
- I heard that the zombie outbreak in Georgia started in Decay-tur.
- The only vegetable the undead will eat is zombeets.
Zombie Puns
Funny plays on words that will have you dying with laughter.
- Of corpse I like zombie jokes.
- We’re very dead-icated to zombie humor.
- I’ve been dying to eat you.
- Over my undead body.
- We’ve got hordes of zombie puns.
- My favorite cartoon is Re-Animaniacs.
- These brains are crani-yum!
- The undead listen to Zom-Bey.
- Let’s hop on a Zoom-bie.
- You can’t zom-beat these puns.
- Zombie humor is undead.
- I don’t zombie-lieve it.
Zombie Pun Names
Just because they died and came back to life doesn’t mean they can’t still have a little personality.
- Zom-Brie Larson
- Zom-B. B. King.
- Dead Sheeran.
- The Zom-Biebs.
- Decay Metcalf.
- Zom-Breanna Stewart.
- Deadie Murphy.
- Steve Zahn-bie.
- Michael De-Caine.
- Deadie Money.
- Isla Flesher.
- Deadre Hall.
You Ask, We Answer
It’s time to dig up your zombie questions.
If the aforementioned Zom-Bea Arthur isn’t for you – and we get it – try out a name that’s a little more hip, like Zom-Brie. Or, if she’s the sophisticated type, you could give her a name like Zom-Bianca. But don’t be shy in going another way and calling her Mil-dread.
For zombie dudes, we’ve thought of a few names that rock. Deadie Money is killer. Dead Sheeran pops too, if you’re into that sorta thing. And Zom-B. B. King shreds necks, not just on guitars.
You can use most any of these zingers for your spooky Halloween shenanigans. “I’ve been dying to eat you,” is a classic that always get a laugh. Vegetarian zombies can say, “GRAAIINNNNSSS!!”
Oh yeah. Our haunting humor is bad to the bone. And nothing could be bad-to-the-bonier than these skeleton jokes. Of course, the witch puns would have a word on that for a spell.
Reanimate your social media game with a fresh zombie quip. Go for “over my undead body” if your zombie has a never-gonna-happen attitude. Or post “crani-yum!” if you’re enjoying some delicious brains.
