80 Spider Jokes and Puns You’ll Like a Widow Bit
Fang-tastic spider jokes and puns for the whole family.
Spiders are the best. They eat the most annoying bugs of all – the flying ones – and they pretty much keep to themselves. And no, they’re the ones biting your legs while you sleep. In facts, spiders are probably eating those bugs too. So next time you see one in your house, maybe leave it alone. Just tell it a funny spider joke or two and let the laughs web and flow.
The spiders may not bite, but the vampires certainly do. Fend them off with the most batty vampire jokes ever.
Spider Jokes
Funny arachnid humor for adults and kids.
- What do they call spiders in the Middle East? Iraq-nids.
- What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies.
- What kind of spiders are really into calisthenics? Jumping jack spiders.
- What do you call a giant Irish spider? Paddy long legs.
- What app do spiders use to listen to music? Spot-a-fly.
- Why do spiders make good outfielders? They catch all the flies.
- What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebs
- Where does the spider soccer team play? Webley Stadium.
- What kind of spiders do squares like? Block widows.
- What kind of spiders can be found in space? The Borg-Weaver.
Spider Dad Jokes
These spider jokes are so funny you’ll get caught in the web of laughs.
- What do you call an undercover tarantula? A spy-der.
- How do spiders sext? The send arach-nudes.
- What’s Homer Simpson’s favorite type of spider? The black wi-d’oh!
- What text emojis do spiders use when they’re happy? ::::D
- What day of the week is spiders’ favorite? Websday.
- What do spiders eat at barbecues? Corn on the cobweb.
- How do spiders diagnose health issues? WebMD.
- How do spiders work out? They go to a spin class.
- What brand of barbecues do spiders use? Weber.
- How tall is a spider? Eight feet.
More Funny Spider Jokes
Keep that laughs going with even more eight-legged punch lines.
- What do you call a spider with 18 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.
- What’s the name of the guy who believes in the ethical treatment of spiders? Peta Parker.
- What spider comes out on a full moon? A wolf spider.
- What do make spider bread with? A black wi-dough.
- What podcast do female spiders listen to? Call Her Daddy Long Legs.
- Why are spiders so smart? Because they can find everything on the web.
- What species of spider builds its web on marijuana plants? Orb-reefers.
- What do spiders wear in the rain? An anorak-nid.
- What’s is called when it rains spiders? A torrential-ula downpour.
- What sitcom did spiders watch in the 70s? Eight Legs Is Enough.
Spider One-Liners
Catch and release these silly one-liners and plays on words.
- People in Iran are scared of spiders But in Iraq, no phobia.
- Why buy a spider at a pet store when you just can get one off the web.
- I bought a new pair of spider-print pants. The fly keeps getting stuck.
- Spiders don’t plan; they do it on the fly.
- The new Spider-Man show is a spin-off.
- I read about the dead spider in the orb-ituaries.
- Spider puns can be found on the web.
- Sometimes when you hide out, you rec-lose.
- The untruthful spider got caught in his web of flies.
- Have you seen the new spider web series?
- To make spider bread, you have to arach-knead it.
- You’re being really reck-luse with spiders.
Spider Puns
Cute spider gags for a not-so-cute bug. Though, if you saw a jumping spider, you’d probably reconsider.
- I like spiders a widow bit.
- He’s wearing an arach-knit sweater.
- Some spiders have fang-xiety.
- Weaver alone!
- Do you want flies with that?
- The crepey crawlies.
- Spider puns are fang-tastic!
- These spider jokes has legs.
- Spiderp.
- Fangs for the memories.
- Hungry like the wolf spider.
- I’m venumb to your spider humor.
- I think arach-not.
- Isn’t it orb-vious?
- He’s a brown wreck-luse.
- I arach-need you.
- Fast and rec-loose.
- Spiders love to fly fish.
Spider Name Puns
Give those creepy-crawlies funny spider names using wordplay.
- Arach-Ned Flanders.
- Crawl McCartney.
- Spiderk Nowitzki.
- Leggy Gaga.
- Web-a McEntire.
- Roy Orb-sion.
- Aretha Fang-klin.
- James Spader.
- Milly Bobby Brown Recluse.
- Rebecca Black Widow.
- Tina Fey-ng.
- Dick Wolf Spider.
- Crawl Rudd.
- John Smolts.
- Spinderella.
- Webster.
- Jumpin’ Jack Flash.
- Brandon Crawl-ford.
- Don Taran-Shula.
- Spud Webb.
You Ask, We Answer
Don’t be a recluse. Go ahead and ask us all your spunky spider questions.
We’ve got a ton of great spider humor for the little ones. Liven the party up with a classic like, “What do spiders eat in Paris? French flies” or “What do you call a spider with 18 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.” Just don’t be surprised when the adults giggle just as much as the kids do.
Absolutely! You can use just about any of the above plays on words to come up with a funny caption. But there are a handful that you can slip into any situation. A few of our favorites are “fang-tastic,” “just a widow bit,” and anything with “web.”
But that’s not all. We’ve also got a long list of silly names you can give to your new wall-crawling friend in your next post. We just love “Arach-Ned Flanders” and “Leggy Gaga.”
Yeah, yeah, we know. Spiders aren’t technically insects; they’re arachnids. But they’re close enough for punning purposes, don’t you think? So catch a buzz with a hive of hilarious bee puns or march over to awesome ant jokes.
The only place on the web you need is right here. Chuckle Daddy has the finest clean spider humor you’ll find anywhere, whether it’s for kids or adults.
Because they can find everything on the web! Heck, some spiders are even web developers, and you have to be pretty intelligent to do that kind of work.
