77 Gold Puns and Jokes That Are Au Right

Here are some gold puns and jokes, if you don’t mine.

If we do say so ourselves, these puns are absolute gold. We hit pay dirt here, folks. But instead of hogging them to ore-selves and selfishly becoming bullionaires, we’re sharing the wealth of gold jokes with all of you. Now everyone – adults and kids – can get rich with solid gold laughter. So get a lode of these jokes already, would ya?

Did you know gold diggers have a union? Well, it’s actually a gild. Just a little nugget for your day. Speaking of nuggets, check out some cheeky chicken puns or a cut of 24 carrot humor.

Funny Gold Puns

We’ve got the best gold puns, bar none.

Prospectors do it gold school.
Nugget-a lie about gold.
Gold miners have mettle.
Keep calm and karat on.
He’s being a total assay.
He’s a gold-blooded snake.
Give it the old college troy.

These are pretty ore-iginal puns.
Gold puns make a lot of cents.
Another one bites the gold dust.
Gold in these hills? What a lode of nonsense.
I’ve done it a hun-dredge times.
I’ve got alloy-t of gold puns.

Midas well face it: funny gold puns are the best.

Short Gold Puns

These might be short but they’re worth their weight in comedy gold.

Midas well face it.
I don’t karat all.
Au right, everyone.
You’re outta coin-trol.
Foot-sluice.
Take a lode off, Annie.

A miner inconvenience.
Do ore don’t.
You’re in my ore-bit.
I karat-ernally for gold.
The Lollipop Gild.
Do ore don’t.

Gold Joke One-Liners

If you don’t find any gold pun one-liners funny, you may have a miner flaw.

Did you hear about the new gold documentary? Critics are panning it.
I’m deciding whether to buy gold or silver. It’s an either ore situation.
You can’t teach a gold dog new tricks.
Did you know I got medals for being the best thief in the world? I took gold, silver, and bronze.
I fell down and got hurt while digging for gold. Fortunately, it’s only a miner injury.
Once a prospector, always a prospector. Gold habits die hard.

Gold jokes and silver jokes are not in the same vein.
Finding the ancient gold artifacts was a real coin-cidence.
Did you hear about the nonbinary prospector? They found a fortune in them/their hills.
A gold nugget walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “A-u, get outta here!”
Saying “gold jewelry” really has a ring to it.
Did you hear about the prospector who died? They say it was sluice-ide.

Some people say there’s a fortune in these hills, but it’s just a gold wives’ tale.
My family is such a treasure; you need a map and shovel to find them.
The prospector was trying to mine as much gold as possible; his efforts were in vein.
Do prospectors take golden showers?
Can you reconnect the gold processing machine? It’s sloose.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night that I got totally placer-ed.

Funny Gold Jokes

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for some gold-fashioned jokes.

Why was gold chosen the lead the orchestra? It’s a good conductor.
Why shouldn’t you disturb a gold prospector? He’s just mining his own business.
Where do miners go for happy hour? The Gold Bar.
What do miners order at bars? Gold-fashioneds.
Why should you never marry a prospector? They’re all gold diggers.
How do you make gold soup? Put 24 carrots in it.

What’s a gold miner’s favorite dessert? Karat cake.
What kind of comedy do gold miners like? Deadpan.
Why was the king’s new castle made out of gold? It’s a noble metal.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a gold mine shaft? A flat miner.
What month is golden? Au-gust.
Why is it hard to make plans with a gold miner? They usually flake.

Why should you never trust a gold miner to renovate your home? He’ll go after the lode-bearing walls first.
What happens when prospectors die? They turn to gold dust.
What do you do on the first day of gold mining? Ore-ientation.
What’s a gold digger’s favorite dessert? It’s not pyrite?
Why hasn’t anybody mined the moon for gold? There’s only full’s gold.

Gold Dad Jokes

When you have all these golden gags, you’ll never be a flash in the pan.

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 24 carrot gold.
Where can you find the Gold Coast? In Au-stralia.
Why do rockers wear gold? Because it’s pretty metal.
Why don’t leprechauns like fool’s gold? Because it’s a sham rock.
Why did the lesbian cow wear a lot of gold? Because it’s a no-bull metal.
How do you get gold’s attention? Yell “A-U” at it.

If you find gold in Australia, where should look for silver? Ag-stralia.
Why did the prospector quit looking for gold? It was a boring job.
What kind of dog do miners have? Golden retrievers.
What do miners use to flavor soups? Bullion.
What kind of shoes do gold miners wear? Coin-verse.
What do you call a gold miner who never pays for anything? A free-loder.

What do you call gassy prospectors? Farty-niners.
How do you know which gold miner farted? Who smelt it, dealt it.
Why did the prospector get a better price for his ore? He hag-gold for it.
Why do gold miners make good baseball scouts? They’re always chasing prospects.
Why is the gold miner still single? He has zero prospects.
What’s a key trait of successful prospectors? Being gold-oriented.