73 Sugar Jokes and Puns That Have No Equal

We’re not gonna sugarcoat it: Not all of the following sugar puns are refined. Some are still pretty Raw, others are not Equal to the task, and the rest are just kinda sticky. But after searching high and Sweet’N Low for confection perfection, we’re convinced that no matter how bad of a sugar pun you make, it’ll still be one of the sweetest jokes ever written. And that’s something not even your salty friend can argue with.

So go ahead and enjoy a spoonful anytime, not just when you need to help the medicine go down. Fortunately, unlike real sugar, these syrupy punch lines can be consumed guilt-free, and laughing at them will actually help burn calories. A win-win! They’re the perfect jokes for adults who want a little sugar rush. Of course, they’re also great for kids, but maybe not right before bed.

If that weren’t enough, fully satisfy your sweet tooth for humor with some gooey marshmallow puns and choice chocolate humor. Put ’em between a couple of graham crackers and you’ll have s’more laughs than you’ll know what to do with.

Sugar Puns

Sneak in a taste of something short and sweet.

• You cane do it!
• Splen-duh.
• I have a confection to make.
• Nothing beets sugar.
• Those guys syrup to something.
• These sugar puns are refined.
• It’s time for a sugar Cube & A.

• Sweet’N Low rider.
• It was sucrose to call.
• Hey, big Splenda.
• Kick sugar to the carb.
• The Maltose Falcon.
• Sugar plum crazy.
• Oh, honey.

Cute Sugar Puns

The sweeteners might be artificial, but the laughs won’t be.

• Sucre bleu!
• Bugs use Sweet’N Locust.
• Thank cube-ery much.
• Slow as mole-asses.
• Splenda, darling.
• I’ve got a Candy Crush on you, sugar.
• Packet up, packet in.

• These are some sweet sugar puns.
• Sugar substitoots give me gas.
• Yes, sir-rup!
• Prozaccharin.
• I love Michael Cane.
• Make it a Splendouble.
• Don’t be so Splendumb.

Sugar One-Liners

These clever plays on words are the icing on the cake. But if things get a little too sugary, balance out your humor palate with a dash of salt puns.

• I’ve read so much about the bad influences of sugar, I’ve decided to read less.
• A man who pretends to be rich to attract pretty young women is not a sugar daddy; he’s an artificial sweetener.
• How do I know the fly in the kitchen played football? It was in the sugar bowl.
• I’m craving something sweet, but I don’t want to Splenda lot of money on it.
• I can eat sugar with both my right and my left hand. I’m ambi-dextrose.
• Jokes about white sugar are pretty rare. But jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.

• Not all artificial sweeteners are created Equal.
• The sweetest member of Fleetwood Mac was Stevia Nicks.
• I visited the doctor today and he said my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
• You know what they say: azúcar is born every minute.
• People in Stockholm don’t use too much sugar in their desserts. They only like sweetish foods.
• I had a really great job at the sugar refinery, until it was dissolved.

• I always wanted to be a sugar daddy, but I’m diabetic.
• Eating brown sugar makes me feel so turbi-naughty.
• I ate so much artificial sweetener, I had to take a Splendump.
• Am I right or a-meringue about whipping egg whites and sugar together?
• A sugar baby shows up at the door of her 80-year-old sugar daddy. She hugs him and says, “Let’s run upstairs and have sex!” The sugar daddy replies, “At my age, it’s one or the other.”

Sugar Dad Jokes

You know those crazy-cute videos of babies tasting sugar for the first time? You’ll pretty much have the same reaction when you first experience these zingers.

• What kind of sweetener do vampires like? Nectar.
• How do Sour Patch Kids stay warm in the winter? They put on their sugar coats.
• What kind of sugar tastes like feet? Fruc-toes.
• What kind of sugar tastes like sweaty socks? Shoe-gar.
• What Marvel villain eats a lot of sugar? Galactose.
• What do sad bakers sprinkle on their donuts? Pout-ered sugar.
• What do you get when you eat unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, baking powder, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, and milk? A stomach cake.

• What kind of sugar is always looking for love? Date sugar.
• What kind of sugar can you eat out of your hand? Palm sugar.
• How do Catholics make communion sweeter? With agave maria.
• What do you call a sugar daddy in a wheel chair? Meals on wheels.
• What kind of sugar is used in marbled breads? Rye-bose.
• Where was sugar first formed into little blocks? Cube-a.
• What does brown sugar do all day? Turbinado damn thing.

Funny Sugar Jokes

More punch lines that’ll have you on a sugar high.

• What do you sweeten dog treats with? Sugrrrr.
• What do you call a sweet primate? A sugarilla.
• When’s the busiest time at the candy store? Sugar rush hour.
• Why did the kid put sugar on his pillow? To have sweet dreams.
• What do you call bread made with artificial sugar? Sweet’N Loaf.
• What was the first thing the witch did when she went on a diet? She caster sugar away.
• What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga put in her coffee? Raw, raw, ah, ah, ah, ah.

• How do squirrels sweeten their meals? With chip-monk fruit.
• What kind of sugar do Native Americans use at parties? Powwow-dered sugar.
• What’s the artificial sweetener’s favorite band? Sugar Ray.
• Why should you shake the sugar bag before opening it? Because if you did it after, you’d get sugar everywhere.
• Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
• What kind of sugar did the farmer sprinkle on his field? Plow-dered sugar.
• Why did the sugar cube go to school? To become a smartie.

You Ask, We Answer

We’re doing a little sugar Cube & A.