62 Sheep Puns and Jokes That’ll Get You Pasture Problems

Sheep puns and jokes for shear comedy enjoyment.

Just because people are usually trying to fall asleep when they think of sheep doesn’t mean all sheep are boring. For one thing, they’re woolly good for making puns and jokes. You know – the kind people flock to. But when the sheep hits the fan, a solid chuckle is exactly what ewe need. So get your funny fix with the good, the ba-a-a-d, and the ugly. And be sure to shear with your friends too.

We probably shouldn’t mention this around the little lambs, but we’ve also got a wealth of wolf humor for a whole pack of laughs.

Cute Sheep Puns

Don’t have a cow pun; these sheep gags are cuter than all the udder ones.

• Time to go home little lamb. It’s pasture bedtime.
• I’m ewe-nique.
• Fleece Navidad!
• You’re woolly cute.
• Much ado about mutton.
• Ewe-se your brain.
• I’m just bustin’ your lamb chops.

• All’s wool that ends wool.
• Same as ewe-sual.
• The ewe-sual suspects.
• Business as ewe-sual.
• I’ll have the ewe-sual.
• Those lambs are ram-bunctious.
• Are you not am-ewe-sed?

Funny Sheep Puns

The funniest sheep wordplay you’ve ever herd.

• Ba-a-a-ad to the bone.
• Holy sheep.
• Sit the flock down.
• Nice rack…of lamb.
• Have you herd the one about sheep?
• Wool played, sir.
• Shear-ly Temple.

• I feel so ewe-sed.
• I bought a new sheep on Ram-azon.
• I don’t give a sheep.
• There are ram-ifications.
• These sheep are really wool known.
• Flock around and find out.
• Please don’t stop the m-ewe-sic.

Sheep One-Liner Puns

There may be ram-ifications to these silly sheep one-liners.

• A sheep, a drum, and a snake all fell off a cliff. Baa dum tss.
• He told the lamb to sheep up or shear out.
• What do sheep count when they fall asleep?
• “That lamb was delicious.”
  “Did you hogget all? How much is left?”
  “Mutton.”

• I got a new fleece on life.
• Do sheep listen to Ed Shear-an?
• You woolly have to sheep it to believe it.
• The shepherd found his missing sheep by shear luck.
• Are ewe eating more? Yeah, I have two empty stomachs.
• Are immigrant sheep offered ram-nesty?

Funny Sheep Jokes

Un-ewe-sually funny dad jokes fresh from the farm. Or station. Or sheepyard if they’re coming in from overseas.

• How do know whether a sheep is an optimist? The grass is half full.
• How did the sheep speed up his computer? He gave it a good RAM.
• What health food are groups of sheep eating? Flocks seed.
• How did the sheep get to the hospital after losing the fight? A ram-bulance.
• What hippie game do sheep play? Haggis-sack.
• How do Spanish sheep say congratulations? Fleece-idades.

• What channel do Spanish-speaking sheep watch? Ewe-nivision.
• What do you call an unmarried ram? A ba-a-a-chelor.
• What channel do conservative sheep watch? Flocks News.
• Why did the SWAT team have a sheep? It was their battering ram.
• What do you call a rookie sheep? A ramateur.
• How do ram chefs prepare chicken thighs? They batter them.

Sheep Dad Jokes

We’re giving these animal zingers a new fleece on life.

• Hey, sheep. What’s up? Mutton much.
• What streaming app do sheep watch? Ewe-tube.
• Why did the ram’s phone die? He forgot to charge the battery.
• What are the only colors sheep see? Graze.
• Why was the sheep’s computer so fast? It had a lot of RAM.
• Why could the married ewe sleep with other rams? She had an open relation-sheep.

• What kind of car was the sheep driving? A Lamb-ourghini.
• How do you keep a ram from charging? Take away his credit card.
• What do sheep say when toasting drinks? Shears!
• What do you call sheep that are always cleaning up? Room-baa.
• What do you call sheep paradise? Ewe-topia.
• Where do Mormon sheep live? Ewe-tah

We Ask, You Answer

You weren’t sheepish with your questions. We won’t pull the wool over your eyes with our answers.