65 Coffee Puns, Jokes, and One-Liners to Perk You Up Anytime

A double shot of coffee jokes and puns to beat that 2:30 feeling.

Coffee is life. And most people understand what that means. But even if you don’t enjoy the joe, you can still sip on these sweet, sometimes bitter, gut busters. However you take it: cream and sugar, black, a little nip, a cup of coffee humor will give you the jolt you need to get through the day. So pour yourself a fresh one while these funny coffee puns and jokes percolate your mind.

And don’t forget to check out more un-beet-able food and drink jokes, including the coolest cucumber puns in the fridge.

Funny Coffee Puns

Venti your feelings over a cuppa some smooth coffee wordplay.

• Oops, affogato bout that.
• Better latte than never.
• Brew or die.
• It’s bean real.
• Life’s a grind.

• Bean there, done that.
• Lait it on me.
• That was cold, brew.
• I don’t give a puck.
• Livin’ la vida mocha.

• Pardon my French press.
• This is how we brew it.
• Bean-ough is bean-ough.
• I’m just roasting ya!

Short Coffee Puns

Short but mighty coffee puns.

• Mug life.
• Déjà brew.
• Espresso yourself.
• You’re grounded.
• Frappe birthday.

• That’s doppio.
• Mug-nificent.
• Fa-brew-lous.
• Sip happens.
• Java the Hut.

Cute Coffee Puns about Love

Lovey-dovey coffee puns that will have you feeling the jitters.

• You mocha me crazy.
• I like you a latte.
• You’re brew-tiful.
• Where have you bean all my life?
• We’re the perfect blend.

• Java good day?
• See you perco-later.
• Puck-er up.
• I’ve bean waiting for you.

Coffee One-Liners

Espresso yourself with a few bold one-liners.

• Working as a barista has its perks.
• Hit me with your best double shot.
• Give it your best shot.
• Latte art is a foam of expression.

• Sometimes you just need to venti.
• I told my wife that messing with my coffee is grounds for divorce.
• The barista was slow to make my cappuccino because she had a latte on her mind.
• It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.

New Coffee Jokes

Some freshly brewed zingers to wake you up.

• How long do baristas stay at their jobs? Until the bitter end.
• What kind of coffee do Spanish soccer players order? Café olé.
• What did the police officer say to the coffee thief? You’re under ar-roast!
• Why did the barista keep getting in trouble at work? Her pour decisions.
• Why was everyone getting mad with the talkative barista? He had no filter.

• Who starred in the coffeehouse production of Scent of a Woman? Al Cap-Pacino.
• How did people rate the new breve drink? 50-50.
• What’s the fastest way to ship coffee? Expresso mail.
• Why are baristas free thinkers? They foam their own opinion.

• What’s a snake’s favorite coffee drink? A cobra-ccino.
• What was the new coffee superhero movie about? It was a single origin story.
• Who starred in it? Macchianu Reeves.
• Why did the coffee beans laugh every time they were touched? They were Turk-ilish.

Classic Coffee Jokes

Let these liquid gold dad jokes refill your cup.

• Why was the landscaper taking all the used coffee? Because he’s the groundskeeper.
• What foreign news corps does the best coffee reporting? The French press.
• Why should you never share secrets with clumsy baristas? Because they always spill the beans.
• How do computers drink coffee? They install Java.
• How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool.

• What do you call sad coffee? Depresso.
• What’s a baristas favorite gym exercise? The French press.
• Why did the coffee call the police? It was mugged.
• Why did the barista get fired from the coffee shop? He kept showing up to work in his Tea-shirt.
• What do skaters and baristas have in common? They both love to grind.
• How does Harry Potter order coffee? Espresso patronum!