71 Crab Puns and Jokes That”ll Get You out of Your Shell

These crab puns and jokes are hilarious. Claw-viousy!

Did you know that one particular species of crab, called the Japanese spider crab, can live up to 100 years? Crazy, right?! Now that we’ve crabbed your attention, here’s a cast of clawsome crab puns and dad jokes that you won’t want to sidestep. We’ve put in the legwork to bring you the funniest gags around, so get ready for a shellebration of this hard-to-crack crustacean. The best part is that these knee-slappers are certain to improve your joke vocrabulary. And don’t worry, all of the following funnies are the real deal–no imitation crab here.

But don’t think that crabs are the only animal that will get you giggling. We’ve also got some amazing whale puns and shark jokes for you to sea.

*As an Amazon associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Short Crab Puns

These short puns are exshellent for any crab situation.

Clawsome!
Clawviously.
Crabsolutely!
Concrabulations!
Crabulous!

Crabtacular!
I crabologize.
That’s crabnormal.
Crabort!
Oh crab!

Funny Crab Puns

How crabout some longer crab puns and one-liners to get things molting hot?

That’s was clawful.
I don’t give a crab.
Life is a crabaret.
He’s always talking crab.
Crabs are speshell.

O crabtain! My crabtain!
Piece of crab cake!
What was that all crabout?
Crab walk the line.
What the shell?

These buttery crab puns and jokes are good in a pinch.

Cute Crab Pun One-Liners

Get your claws on clever crab puns and one-liners.

Shy crabs don’t want to come out of their shell.
Take a crab walk on the wild side.
I need a good crabtion for this Instagram post.
Crab jokes have legs.
You’re the crab apple of my eye.

You’ve got me crab walking on egg shells.
Pinch me. I must be dreaming.
This ocean documentary is crabtivating.
Those crabs are a real cast of characters.
Crustacean puns are a cut crabove the rest.

Crab Dad Jokes

Here are freshest, most succulent crab jokes to crabtivate your friends, family, and coworkers with. If they don’t chuckle at these, they must be feeling pretty crabby. Or maybe they just prefer clam quips. Who the shell knows.

Who’s the leader of the Seafood Avengers? Crabtain America.
What did the magician say to make the shellfish disappear? Crabracadabra!
Why do crabs make good friends? They can help out in a pinch.
What red wine pairs well with shellfish? Crabernet.
Why didn’t anyone ever believe the crustacean? He was full of crab.
What kind of candy do shellfish like? Crabba-zaba.

Why didn’t the dieter want to eat any shellfish? Too many crabohydrates.
What’s do you call a crustacean who’s not at school? Crabsent.
Who painted the crab Mona Lisa? Leonardo da Pinci.
What kind of pills do crustaceans take? Crabsules.
Why did the crab become a police officer? It always wanted to work in claw enforcement.
What kind art style do crustaceans like? Crabstract.

What’s a crab’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order.
What do crustaceans order at the bar? Crabsinthe.
Why do crabs walk sideways? Because they have nothing to look forward to.
What do you call a lot of shellfish? A crabundance.
How do you know when a crab is in trouble? It’s in hot water.
What leafy vegetable tastes good with shellfish? Crabbage.

Classic Crab Jokes

Some jokes never go out of style. Just dip in melted butter and enjoy! Same goes for these salty shrimp puns. Deeelicious.

What do crabs do on their birthday? They shellebrate.
What do you call a frugal crab? A penny pincer.
Where do crabs catch the train? At the crust station.
Who drove the crustacean to the airport? The crab driver.
What do you call a crab that plays baseball? Pinch hitter.
Where do crabs get gas? The Shell station.

How much salt do the crab chefs use? A pinch.
What fruit do crustaceans eat? Crab apples. And sometimes just crabples.
What do you call a crab that doesn’t like to share? Shellfish.
How do crabs call their friends? On their shell phone.
Who brings Christmas presents to all the crab boys and girls? Santa Claws.
What’s a crab’s favorite part about eating pizza? That crust taste, son!

Funny Crab Jokes

A pinch more hilarious crab humor. Don’t forget to share on Instagram!

What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
How do crabs get around on land? The use the sidewalk.
What kind of pictures do crabs take? Shellfies.
What type of coffee do crustaceans drink? Crabuccino.
How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner? They were really steamed.
Where do crabs keep their money? In a sand bank.

Why don’t crustaceans do well in spelling bees? They have a limited vo-crab-ulary.
Why do crab basketball players only shoot 3-pointers? They won’t go near the net.
What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home? A Kermit crab.
Where do crabs go to ride public transportation? The bustacean.
What does the crustacean president call his trusted advisors? His crabinet.