61 Milk Puns and Jokes That Are Whey Funny

Legen-dairy milk puns and jokes.

Milk does a body good. Milk puns and jokes, on the other hand, will make you laugh so hard milk shoots out your nose. Not sure if that does a body any good, but it’s totally worth it.

You can’t get milk puns without the cow puns (or even the goat puns). So mosey on over for some udderly moooving humor. Heifer nice day!

Funny Milk Puns

Funny milk puns, no milk duds.

• Only 2% of milk jokes are funny.
• Udderly hilarious.
• Legen-dairy.
• Full cream ahead.
• It never o-curd to me.
• I kefir we’re all out of milk.

• That took a churn for the worse.
• Get off my casein.
• Goat anything udder than cow’s milk?
• I can’t seem to find my whey.
• That dairy cow is a jug-gernaut.
• Don’t skim over these milk puns.

• I dairy you to do it.
• You can do butter than that.
• The jug is up.
• Dear dairy…
• I just curdn’t believe my eyes.
• Going for the jug-ular.
• Órale, whey!

Milk Pun One-Liners

Got milk humor?

• That milk joke was too long. Can I get the condensed version?
• I don’t buy fat-free milk because I don’t want to contribute to cows having body image issues.
• A man just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy.
• Did you hear about the guy who got sick after drinking full cream milk with extra cream? At first, his stomach was churning, but he’s feeling much butter now.

• Old dairy cows never die, but they do kick the bucket.
• This one’s rancid. I hope you have a buttermilk to serve.
• Those two dairy cows are just gallon around.
• The hardest part of skimming milk is throwing the cows across the lake.

• A dairy cow that doesn’t produce milk is udderly useless.
• Spoiled milk comes from a pampered cow.
• Things are taking a churn for the butter.
• I’m just going to lait this milk pun here.
• That milk joke was a real head-churner.

Plant-Based Milk Puns and One-Liners

Hola! Soy milk jokes. What’s your name?

• Plant-based milks are coconuts.
• You oat to know better.
• I’m totally oat-kay with plant-based milks.
• Did you know that soy milk was just Spanish milk introducing itself?
• I love your oat-fit!

• Milk alternatives are very oat-going.
• I drink my plant-based milk in the great oat-doors.
• Milk alternatives are very soy-phisticated.
• Jokes about milk alternatives are soy funny.
• They have an almond-opoly on the milk alternative market.

• Cow’s milk is so oat of touch.
• Soy what?
• Plant-based milks have become totally almond-ane.
• Soy ya latte.
• Almond milk is nut funny.

Soy Milk Jokes and Almond Milk Jokes

An alternative to the cows milk joke industrial complex.

• What’s the best day to have a plant-based milk in your coffee? Al-Monday.
• What do you call a plant-based milk that’s all alone? I-soy-lated.
• Why did the plant-based milk smell so bad? It had an oat-or.
• How do milk alternatives get electricity? Soy-lar panels.
• I asked a cheese maker if he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk. He said he was sorry, but there’s no whey.
• It’s called almond milk because nobody could call it nut juice with a straight face.

Funny Milk Dad Jokes

Bessy would probably not approve of such be-hoof-ior.

• Did you hear about the milk executive who went to prison for embezzlement? He was skimming some off the top.
• Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
• Why is milk the fastest liquid on Earth? Because before you look it’s pasteurized.
• What band is milk’s least favorite? Built to Spill.

• What’s the hardest part about skimming milk? Throwing the cow across the lake.
• Why did the milk want to travel abroad? To get culture.
• What does milk do with its emotions? Bottles them up.
• How was the deceased dairy farmer laid to rest? He was cream-ated.