96 Candy Puns and Jokes for Everlasting Laughs

Candy puns and jokes you can’t Reeses’t.

Hey, Nerds! Get ready to Starburst into laughter with 100 Grand–worth of candy puns. Werther’s or not you have much of a sweet tooth, you’ll be Rolo-ing on the floor once you unwrap the following funnies. So Take 5 to Skor some satisfyingly infectious confection wordplay. But no rush – these gut-busting candy jokes are good for Now and Later, so you can Charleston Chews when you want to Krackel up.

Don’t let all these candy puns spoil your appetite. Save some room for some choice chocolate puns and indulgent ice cream jokes. You know, the pillars of a balanced comedy diet.

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Funny Candy Puns

Whether it’s Valentine’s Day, Halloween, or graduation, we have the candy puns that get Snickers.

This is how I Rolo.
I just can’t Reeses’t.
The KitKat’s meow.
Yes, Mr. Pez-ident.
Raisinetcetera.
I have a confection to make.
I mean, hoNestlé.
Smartie pants.

Werther’s or not.
This candy pun Brach’s!
It’s Junior Mint to be.
Nougat-a lie.
I Mentos do that.
I love you to Reese’s Pieces.
The New York Snicker-bockers.
Have it your Milky Way.

Candy puns and jokes that will make you snicker.

Cute Candy Puns

These candy puns are Good & Plenty for teachers and students.

Be-Twix and between.
Runts-D.M.C.
In the Heath of the moment.
Rock out with your Brach’s out.
You can’t Riesen your way out of this one.
Almond Joy to the world.
In a time Crunch.
Are you Zag-nuts?

On the hunt for chocolate humor? Get your fix with the creamiest chocolate puns in the candy aisle.

Godiva-nother piece of chocolate please?
These Whoppers are malt-iplying.
Don’t be jellie.
That’s just how I Tootsie Roll.
Let’s go on a candy shopping Spree.
Tootsie Pop the collar.
I’m nuts for Goobers.

Nobody can Reeses't our funny candy puns and jokes.

Clever Candy Puns

Don’t ever sour on Valentine’s Day candy puns.

I’m under Mounds of pressure.
What’s the Skor?
Caramello out, dude.
Tobler-own it!
You’re Baby Ruthless.
Don’t be a Dum-Dum.
Martin Skor-sese.
Caramello Anthony.

Milky Wait a sec…
Pixy Styx.
Don’t Cadbury your head in the sand.
Taxi drivers love Cabba-Zabba.
You Zotz to know better.
Connect the Dots.
Brach’s Samson.

Candy Pun One-Liners

Break me off a piece of these candy one-liners.

I’ve got a few Twix up my sleeve.
Don’t get your Snickers in a twist.
I’m trying to remember a lollipop joke. It’s on the tip of my tongue.
Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
Someone accused me of stealing their Kit Kat. Give me a break.
My chocolate car broke down, so I had to get a tow-blerone.
Some of these candy puns are total Milk Duds.

Hi-Chew! Bless you.
I don’t like my gummy fish too sweet. I prefer them Swedish.
Sounds like a case of Sour Patch grapes to me.
I’ve got a chocolate-covered biscuit in my back Pocky.
I Reese-ently heard the funniest candy puns.
These jokes raise the candy bar.
Dove chocolate sure tastes better than Dove soap.

Funny Candy Jokes

You candy-pend on these candy jokes for Valentine’s Day.

What’s the best candy to eat on nature walks? Hike and Ike.
What candy is always online? Tootsie Trolls.
What does dad do when he hears a candy joke? He Snickers.
What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
Will people eat chocolate on Valentine’s Day? You candy-pend on it.
Where can you get candy on pizza? Skittle Caesars.

What are chocolate’s preferred pronouns? Her/she.
What candy do Vampires eat on Valentine’s Day? Neck-o Wafers.
Who’s the chocolatier’s favorite rapper? M&M.
What’s Cupid’s favorite brand of gummy bears? Hari-bow.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty-Kat bar.
Why has candy gotten so expensive? Because of the new Tic Tax.

Candy Dad Jokes

These candy wisecracks will have you in Reese’s Pieces on Halloween.

What do you get when you open a Mars Bar? A lot of drunk aliens.
What flavor candy do ghosts eat? Scare-amel.
How can you tell when it’s going to rain candy? It starts to sprinkle.
What do you call executives at a candy company? C-sweet.
What’s a robot’s favorite candy? A Wall-E-pop.
What kind of chocolate is made by stepping on it? Toe-blerone.

What two letters do you need to spell candy? C and Y.
What kind of sweets do cardiologists like? Heart candy.
What kind of candy do baseball players like? Batter-scotch.
Why did the candy go to college? To be a Smartie.
What candy do rappers eat? Mic and Ike.
What candy just won’t shut up? Gabba-Zabba.

Jokes About Candy

Funny candy dad jokes are always better choco-late than never.

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baaaa.
What kind of chocolate always ends up in the dryer? Lindt.
What kind of candy do musicians like? Rock candy.
What’s the first thing you have to do when entering a candy factory? Sign a wafer.
Where’s the best place to get a chocolate sandwich? At the Ghirar-deli.
What’s Cupid’s favorite chocolate bar? Aero.