95 Pumpkin Puns and Jokes That Are, Like, So Gourd

Pumpkin puns and jokes sure to squash Fall boredom.

I only have pies for you, and pumpkin puns.

What’s the key to telling great pumpkin jokes? Delivering them with guts and a toothy grin. Then, people will see the light inside you, and they’ll know that deep down, you’re not totally hollow.

Anyway, you know once summer’s over, you can’t say “pumpkin” without “spice latte.” That’s why we’ve whipped up the frothiest fall funnies yet. For real. Add a dash of jocular jack-o’-lantern banter and plump pumpkin pun names, and you’ve got a recipe for smashing laughs.

Just do us one favor: don’t be a knucklehead, and check out some of our other knee-slapping humor too. Like orange puns or carrot cracks. Or even things that aren’t orange. We have those too.

Pumpkin Puns

A plethora of pumpkin puns for your pleasure.

Gourd vibrations.
Hello, gourd-geous.
It’s a plumpkin.
Oh my gourd.
Life is gourd.

I only have pumpkin pies for you.
Let the gourd times roll.
I’m just a country pumpkin.
Hey, gourd lookin’.
The Gourd, the Bad and the Ugly.
I just love pun-kins.

Nothing but gourd intentions.
Gourd grief.
For gourdness’ sake.
As gourd as it gets.
Gourd Samaritan.
It’s gourd enough.

Pumpkin puns and jokes for a gourd laugh.

Pumpkin Pun One-Liners

Funny puns about pumpkins straight from the patch.

Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
These pumpkin puns are gourd to go.
I used to carve pumpkins in the gourd old days.
That pumpkin is my gourd-luck charm.
That pumpkin pun caught me off gourd.
The bigger the pumpkin, the harder the Fall.
Things that go pumpkin the night.
Keep your eye on the pies.

Pumpkin Dad Jokes

Punny pumpkin jokes that are not just gourd in theory.

How do pumpkins get to work? Autumn-mobiles.
What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
What did the sick pumpkin say? I don’t feel so gourd.
What do pumpkins order at Taco Bell? Gourditas.
Why did the pumpkin get an early release from jail? Gourd behavior.
What do pumpkin farmers wear in the Fall? A har-vest.

Who helps pumpkins safely cross the street? The crossing gourd.
What did one pumpkin say to the other? Happy Hollowing.
Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
What do you call a pumpkin at the pool? A life-gourd.
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out.
What did the pumpkin say at happy hour? Let’s get smashed.

Don't be a jerk-o-lantern and share these hilarious pumpkin puns and jokes.

Jack-O’-Lantern Puns and Jokes

Scary good Halloween pumpkin jokes.

How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
Who’s the leader of the jack-o’-lanterns? The pumpking.
What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
What do you call a jack-o’-lantern’s muscular brother? Pumped kin.
Why don’t jack-o’-lanterns ever go trick-or-treating? They have no body to go with.
How do jack-o’-lanterns build muscle? By pumpkin iron.
How do you know when a jack-o’-lantern has an idea? A light goes on in its head.

Why are all jack-o’-lanterns boys? Because if they were girls, they’d be jill-o’-lanterns.
What do you call a barking pumpkin? A gourd dog.
What do you call a mean pumpkin? A jerk-o’-lantern.
What do you call a jack-o’-lantern that looks like a pirate? A squashbuckler.
How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking? The pumpkin patch.
Why did the jack-o’-lantern go to the dentist? It had a big cavity.
What do you call a chubby jack-o’-lantern? A plumpkin.