57 Tomato Puns and Jokes to Paste Everywhere
We’ll be honest: Some of the following tomato puns and jokes are just plum funny. And some are so bad you’ll probably want to throw tomatoes at us. That’s okay – we get it. We’re ripe for the picking. But just remember that no mater how rotten these gags and one-viners get, they’re always a salad choice for laughs.
Don’t stop here au-tomato-cally. We’ve got a buffet of funny food jokes. From cute cucumber puns to cheerful chip quips, it’s an all-you-can-pun extravaganza.
Funny Tomato Puns
These puns are funny any way you slice ’em.
- Italian tomatoes like to Roma-round.
- Heinz-sight is 20-20.
- Tomadon’t!
- She’s got the ripe stuff.
- Copy/tomato paste.
- I dipped my tomatoe in the water.
- Phantomato of the Opera.
- Tomatotally.
- Automato-mobile.
- Tomatoes are so saucy!
- Tomatone it down.
- I’m plum out of tomatoes.
Cute Tomato Puns
You say to-may-to puns, I say to-mah-to puns.
- I love you from my head tomatoes.
- You mater to me.
- Here today, gone tomato.
- Vine-ally!
- Let’s do the tomato-si-do.
- These tomatoes are grape.
- Juice be yourself.
- Think you can ketchup to me?
- I’m doing vine. How are you?
- Tomaduh!
- Tomatoes always cherry me up.
- Tomatoes are souper!
- Everything is vine.
- Tomatoes ex-seed my expectations.
Tomato One-Liner Puns
Tomato zingers that are ripe for the telling.
- I tried to email the vegetable company but I only got an au-tomato-ed response.
- I had to give the salad makers an ul-tomato.
- Tom-ate-o the food last night.
- Green tomatoes just need some experience.
- The tomatoes were crushed when they found out they’d be turned into marinara.
- The fugitive tomatoes were finally a-roasted.
- These tomatoes live in a seedy part of town.
- Tomatoes live to get revenge. They’re vine-dictive as hell.
- Tomatoes didn’t really like the renais-sauce.
- I’m going to fix a salad. Can I borrow your tomatools?
- The tomatoes they gave me weren’t ready to eat yet. What a ripe-off.
Ripe Tomato Dad Jokes
These juicy ones are fresh off the vine.
- What’s the worst part of salsa dancing? Getting the tomato stains out afterward.
- What kind of tomato smells the best? A-Roma.
- Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do tomatoes and potatoes have in common? Toes.
- Why do people like basil in tomato soup? It’s soup-herb!
- What’s Homer Simpson’s favorite vegetable? Toma-doh!
- What do you call a flying tomato? An air-loom.
- What kind of boat do you need to sail the Marinara-bbean Sea? A tomato sloop.
- How do tomatoes listen to music? On vine-yl.
- How do tomatoes relax? A Roma therapy.
- What do you call a vegetable hurricane? A tor-mato.
Classic Tomato Jokes
These funny punch lines were compiled using an au-tomato-ed system.
- What do you make marinara bread with? Tomadough.
- Who’s the leader of the tomatoes? The caprese-dent.
- What does tomato soup wear in the rain? A gaz-poncho.
- What’s the most masculine tomato? Broma
- Why was the tomato wearing spandex? All the lycra-pene.
- Who gives the sermons at salad church? The tomato paste-r.
- How do you glue two vegetables together? With tomato paste.
- What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- How do you get rid of unproductive tomatoes? Can them.
- What do you call a tomato in a wig? A hair-loom tomato.
- What kind of candy tastes like tomatoes? Bru-skittles.
- What dance do tomatoes do? Salsa.
You Ask, We Answer
Don’t let your social media game go splat! Sauce up your tomato posts with a short pun. Our number-one favorite is “Heinz-sight is 20-20,” especially for dicey situations. Other good ones include “having a renais-sauce” and “you’ve got that ripe.” Look over the list above to see what works for you.
Just because tomatoes can be messy doesn’t mean the humor has to be. We’ve stocked up on clean tomato puns and jokes for the kids – and adults – to enjoy.
