89 Skeleton Jokes and Puns That Are Bad to the Bone

You’ll laugh at these skeleton jokes and puns until you’re bone tired.

You’ve probably seen the memes with a skeleton waiting for something or someone. Like, what is taking so dang long?! Well, around here, you won’t turn into a bag of bones waiting on us. Nope. When you hit us up for laughs, we get right back to you with the funniest skeleton jokes and best bone puns this side of the grave. So get ready to dig into some seriously silly skeletal humor. Right away. No waiting.

Skeletons may not be able to bust a gut, but you sure can. Check out some clever construction jokes to get the job done. Or if you’re still in a Halloween mood, jet over to some jovial jack-o’-lantern jokes or wicked witch humor to keep your spirits up.

Funny Skeleton Jokes

Skeleton jokes that’ll send a chill up your spine.

• How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
• What’s the one room no skeleton has in its home? A living room.
• What are metal bones made of? Skele-tin.
• How much does a pallet of bones weigh? A skele-ton.
• How do skeleton students get to school? They take the skull bus.
• What musical instrument do skeletons play? The trom-bone.

• How do you greet a French skeleton in the morning? Bone-jour.
• What basketball team do skeletons root for? The San Antonio Bone Spurs.
• Why isn’t there music in skeleton church? No organs.
• What do skeletons like to fly in? A scare-plane.
• What does a skeleton take when his scare-plane isn’t available? A skele-copter.
• What do skeletons get from their bosses every holiday season? A bone-us.

• What do archaeologists use to flip steaks on the grill? Skele-tongs.
• Why do skeletons have trouble making friends? They don’t have many social skulls.
• What do you call a lie told by skeletons? A fibula.
• Why did everyone want to go to the new skeleton night club? It was a hip joint.
• Why was the teenage skeleton always in trouble? His parents were very sternum.
• What dating app do the undead use? Skele-Tinder.

Skeleton Dad Jokes

Skeletons? We’ve all got one. Skeleton jokes? Now you have them too.

• How do you know when a skeleton is lying? You can see right through it.
• Who’s the skeleton’s favorite rock and roll musician? Pelvis Pressley.
• What do you call a skeleton who doesn’t have any siblings? A bon-ly child.
• Where’s the best place to clean bones? In the skele-tub.
• Why don’t skeletons go on rollercoasters? They don’t have the guts.
• Why don’t skeletons go trick-or-treating? Because they have nobody to go with.

• What do skeletons use to cut their food? A shoulder blade.
• What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll take a drink, and a mop.
• What did the skeleton order at the restaurant? Spare ribs.
• What do skeletons do at hockey games? Drive the zam-bony.
• Why was the skeleton taking guitar lessons? He wanted tibia rock star.
• What kind of pasta do skeletons eat? Elbow macaroni.

• What’s a skeleton’s favorite fruit? A spineapple.
• What’s a skeleton’s second favorite fruit? Bone-anas.
• What do skeletons get at the mall food court? Cinna-bone.
• What kind of tree is made of tiny skeletons? A bone-sai tree.
• How do skeletons make love? They jump each other’s bones.

Skeleton Joke One-Liners

Don’t hide these cute skeleton pun one-liners in your closet.

• A skeleton’s been following me all day. I think he’s spine on me.
• My wife kept asking my pa how he broke his kneecap, but he didn’t want to answer. So I said, “Go on pa-tella what happened.”
• Skeletons are so unreliable. They’re always putting things off until to-marrow.
• I recently broke my funny bone. I fail to see what’s so humerus about it.
• Dogs can’t see your bones, but CAT scan.
• I went to an archaeologist’s party where we were excavating a lower leg bone. It was quite the shindig.

Bone Jokes

Stick and stones may break your bones, which is no joke to your skeleton.

• How much does a new tail bone cost? Coccyx or seven bucks.
• Where do you go when you break your funny bone? The hahaspital.
• What’s the best part about working with bone fragments? There’s a lot of breaks.
• What do you get when you boil funny bones? Laughing stock.
• What do you need for a movie about broken bones? A great cast.
• What bone do heretics break most often? The blasfemur.

• What’s half the diameter of a bone circle? The radius.
• What did one bone say to the other bone? Let’s meet up and share a joint.
• What do you call a broken bone factory? The manufracturer.
• Why did the percussionist go to hospital? He broke his clave-cle.
• What kind of dance do bones hate? Breakdancing.

Funny Skeleton Puns

Clever puns are the backbone of skeleton humor.

• Skeleton jokes are humerus.
• Bone up on your skele-puns.
• It’s just a good ribbing.
• Seems like a rib-off to me.
• Don’t be so marrow-minded.
• I don’t like your skele-tone.

• Hate to verte-break it to you.
• I’m skele-done.
• Helter Skullter.
• I’ll have a gin and skele-tonic.
• I’ve got a skele-ton of bone jokes.
• I gave him a skulltimatum.

• Don’t be skele-dumb.
• These old bones are pretty skele-tough.
• Making fun of skeletons is sacrum-legious.
• I’ve got skele-tunnel vision.
• Let’s play skull-timate frisbee.

• Hans-skull and Gretel.
• Skelly Clarkson.
• Skele-Tony Soprano.
• Agent Skully.
• Skeletons do it on the bone spur of the moment.

Bone Puns

I mean sure, they’re all bone puns, but you know how it is. These, however, are perfect for that funny Instagram caption you’ve been trying to find.

• Bone appétit.
• Bone-ly you.
• Bone voyage.
• It’s a bone-anza!
• I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

• Marrowly we roll along.
• A one-trick bony.
• Don’t be a bone head.
• Suture yourself.
• I’m so boned.

• That’s what I liga-meant.
• Skeletons make no bones about it.
• Shaquille Bone’Neal.
• Ulna Thurman.
• Napoleon Bone-aparte.